Don’t Try This at Home


Having OCD can be a bit dangerous at times.  Everyone knows the bathroom is one of the most treacherous places in the house.  The combination can provide some harrowing moments, indeed.

Not long ago, I had occasion to engage in a super-shower; it was probably right after I had cleaned the shower itself.  Those who have read my previous posts will recall that once I start the super-shower ritual, my eyes are shut tight, and I cannot open them until I have shampooed my hair fifteen times.  I have to position myself carefully before I start so that I will not touch the shower walls and so that I feel comfortably oriented beneath the stream of water.  I also learned early on that it is important to start out with the water at the proper temperature.  It has to start out hot enough to do the job, with the realization that it will get cooler before I can open my eyes again.  If it is too cool at the beginning, I won’t feel clean.  It has to be just right.

On this recent night, my system failed me.  I thought I had an accurate assessment of the temperature, but, for some reason it did not cool off after the first few minutes.  When I got about two-thirds of the way through, I started growing uncomfortably warm, but I kept saying that it would start cooling off any minute.  By the time I came to count twelve, I felt faint.  I was not imagining this.  There were a couple of times in the distant past where I actually did overheat, and began swooning.  On those occasions, I had to step out of shower and grab on to the towel rack to keep from falling.  Then I had to go lie on my bed with the fan blowing for fifteen minutes before I felt like I might not pass out.  Once I cooled off, I was fine.  Thankfully, this time I was able to make it to the end without going to that extreme, but I was close, and the water never did cool off on its own.

There were other times in the last five years when I tried to deal with the situation another way.  I was standing in the shower squeezing my eyes shut, and the water was far too hot.  I needed to do something about it, but I couldn’t open my eyes.  My solution?  I balanced myself on one foot(in the wet, hot shower), and attempted to find the faucet with my other foot.  This, remember, was with closed eyes and being unable to touch the shower walls.  Still, I felt that I should be able to find the faucet without too much trouble, but it proved more difficult than it seemed.  The first time I tried this I actually succeeded!  The second time, if I remember correctly, I gave up.  I had to step slowly back out of the stream of hot water to cool off a little before continuing with my washing.  Ah, fun times!

So, this latest time it did cross my mind to try to find the faucet with my foot, but I quickly dismissed the idea because I really didn’t want to end up on the shower floor with a goose egg on my head.  I definitely do not recommend this procedure to anyone else.

About admin

I am a female in my early 40's who has been dealing with OCD since age 10 and a fear of germs since 14.
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